Esquire Theme by Matthew Buchanan
Social icons by Tim van Damme

19

Apr

2 years and im out

All I can think about is that I only have two more years. Two years till I graduate highschool and am out of this house, out of this town, away from these people doing what I wanna do. I feel so restricted here I can’t do anything i want I feel trapped. YOu seriously can’t even understand how much I wanna leave and go to college. Two more years then i’m running away and never turning back

09

Apr

seriously confused

well, Its been two weeks since any chance i had athim wasover, since they started going out. And honestly, i dont even know anymore. At first i was heartbrocken but then I felt like i was completely over him. But now, i hear stories and see pictures of them together and it actually bothers me. I have no idea what im feeling. And i dont know if this is a good thing or it could be a terrible thingbut im starting to like his best friend. We went on a date to the movies.Me and his BEST friend. Of course it wasnt just us, our friends who are a couple met us there but it was a date, he got two straws for a drink and said something to my friend like “Its all part of the plan;) ” Now this could be a good thing because he’s getting my mind of the other boy and stop caring about him. But I really hope the date wasnt just trying to get me to forget about the other guy cause im starting to fall for him and if this is just a game he’s not gonna catch me. Also If i start going out with this boy Any chance i had with dating the other guy after he broke up with that girl is over. He wouldnt date his best friends ex. ever. I have no idea what to do, maybe i just need to stop overthinking everything and whatever happens, happens cause i cant control everything.

20

Mar

hidden-ambitions:

This is soo true …when that use to happen to me ..I was deeply hurt because she would always treat the guy like shit .. :( I definitely wouldve done better

hidden-ambitions:

This is soo true …when that use to happen to me ..I was deeply hurt because she would always treat the guy like shit .. :( I definitely wouldve done better

19

Mar

Just when i thought i had it…

Everything was fine. I decided “oh im not gonna let her win, he’s gonna be mine” That all changed when i was on facebook. I logged on and was on for an hour and right as i was about to log off and go to bed i clicked on hir profile. ” In a relationship” it said. My jaw dropped. My heart sank. I sat there for 20 minutes staring at the screen. Im in denial. I cant believe its over. yesterday he called her all these names, we stayed up till 3 and talked again at 7 i got less that 5 hrs of sleep to be there for him. I guess it dosent matter. 5 months of my life wasted on a boy who doesnt like me but some undeserving girl. If they go to prom together i’m done i csnt handle seeing those pictures. I cant handle this knowing hes gonna be kissing her doing stuff with her whose just using him to do stuff with him. I hope she goes to hell

Fml. I can’t even comprehend this I’m in denial

Fml. I can’t even comprehend this I’m in denial

Come on, come on don’t leave me like this, I thought I you figured out. Can’t breath whenever your gone, can’t turn back, now I’m haunted

I never understood jealousy till now

All day I just keep thinking about him and her. She spreads rumors about him but then tells her friends she likes him, like what the hell? I can’t keep doing this, knowing he likes her and she likes him. If she likes him so much why does she do this stuff and tell people stuff about him? Its so frustrating. Last year we were friendly we sat at the same lunch table. Now she’s dead to me. Except she cant be dead because she’s very existint and I have to worry about her taking him away from me. I just want her gone. I want him with me. And I would do anything if he was mine. Doesnt he see she’s not right for him, I am? No. no…

I cant pass her in the halls and not slap her

When I got to school today I’m going to see her. I know i’m going to and it’s gonna kill me. Im so mad at everything right now, and never hated anyone like i do to her. I would give up anything, do anything just to have him like me. Loving someone who doesnt love you back hurts. It doesn’t hurt, it Kills. It kills knowing she likes him and he likes her. It kills knowing their gonna hang out soo. It kills knowing when they hangout she’s gonna try and do stuff with him. I dont care what people say giving a few guys hj’s and asking this guy to be friends with benifits isnt normal. He’s to good for her and he dosent see it. I just Wish there was something I could do to get him to like me the way he likes her. My friend said ask him to hangout but I think thats setting me up for failure. I hate this.so.much.

18

Mar

250 plays

Exactly how I feel right now.